I’m Afraid of Expressing my Anger!!
Q: I follow a spiritual path; however, I'm very fearful in expressing my anger. I'm afraid of what will come out of me in words or actions.
A: Great question! In modern spirituality we often take “pride” in our positive thinking and eschew negativity. We are careful that nothing gets us down, because we want to always affirm the positive and deny that anything negative could possibly have any control over us, because we know the power of our thoughts.
Allow me to establish context. Humans still have a reptilian brain at the core of our complex, highly evolved brains. We are hardwired to seek survival above all else, i.e., fight or flight. If this mechanism goes unchallenged, we likely become subject to “amygdala hijack,” a term coined by Daniel Goleman in his book, Emotional Intelligence. According to the research of David R. Hawkins, MD, PhD, at the lower levels of consciousness, or prior to being on a spiritual journey, when an event occurs the stimulus goes immediately to the emotional center of the brain and then to the rational part of the brain. As a result, reactions can happen without thinking. Having worked in a maximum-security prison, there are countless men doing 20 years to life that pulled the trigger in a rage without thinking things through. Beginning the spiritual journey can happen in several ways. I believe the common ground in each pathway includes humility, acknowledgment of God and surrendering our will to God, as we understand God. During and after the act of surrendering our will and life to Divinity, our brain chemistry changes. We are no longer only subject to impetuous fear-based survival instincts. An etheric brain now exists, it is the emergence of the Holy Spirit within. At this point a stimulus travels to the etheric brain faster than to the emotional center, allowing us a moment to consider alternatives for an appropriate response by accessing the prefrontal cortex “before” the reptile brain “takes control.” The ego thinks of survival first, but the Holy Spirit considers the Highest Good of all. Anger is a natural response of our biology to get out of a hostile situation and into safety.
If we are habitually angry, it is time to take a personal inventory to find out what is going on beneath the storm. Find the thorn and remove it. Perhaps we are living in a compromise to our belief system. If so, then frustration and anger will naturally follow as a form of grief. (I’ve been there!)
Anger is completely natural. However, there is this phenomenon called “the shadow” which is a mechanism of our psyche to prevent or protect us from pain. At some point in our childhood we “stuffed” an emotion or two because it was believed that if we acted them out, our safety would be in great peril. Personally, anger has been my biggest shadow to overcome. As a child my belief was, if anger was acted out, I’d be physically and psychologically wounded; and this was recorded in my subconscious. The next step to prevent myself from acting out in anger was my psyche wrapped shame and guilt around anger. Therefore, it was shameful for me to get angry. This came to light during seminary when I saw two hospital chaplains get into an argument behind closed doors. Instantly, I lost respect for both of them. When I discussed this with my teacher it became very clear that I had projected the underlying meaning of my anger by casting my shadow of shame onto them. All they were doing was blowing off a little steam. Trust me when I say hospital chaplains are exposed to massive stress on a daily basis, especially in the trauma centers.
If one suspects a shadow is lurking in the weeds the best way to expose it is with the light of our awareness. Take the time to dive into the shadows with lots of love, compassion and patience; because it’s probably your traumatized 3- or 4-year-old inner child that is clutching onto it as a security blanket. Your loving awareness can free this inner child from the shadows of repressed anger.
Generosity Opportunity
If you have received from this post, we invite you to consider supporting this work. Your generosity helps us with the resources needed to continue the work we are called to do. Thank you!
AwakenMe.Us is an LLC and donations are not tax deductible.
